The Battlefield Where the Girls Say I Love You



That's just the thing: we will never tell you we love you. In fact, we're here only to hold hands across state lines and yell at the world. We're here to try to touch you across this chasm of flown things. Not even that. At most, I will teach you how to make a gin smoothie when there's nothing left in the house. Hannah can teach you several languages and what to do when your car breaks up with you. Thanks for coming out.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

sisterhood of the traveling pant suits and other world news:

just a few things, dears:

*it has been brought to my attention that the barnes and noble on woodruff road carries as many books of poetry as they do specialty bibles.

*my students asked what, exactly, a sestina was today. to which i yelled, "the most tyrannical form there is!" then, because i'm not malleable in any way, and because i noticed how delighted they were BY sestinas, i said, "we'll write one tomorrow." then, "they're six six line stanzas, followed by a tercet called the tornada." then it gets complicated. the end words from each line are used in the following stanzas...apparently at random. 123456, 615243.... and all i could think--and this is humiliating because i'm not sixteen and i'm their teacher--is "area codes" by ludacris: 916, 415, 704...

*perhaps you've heard the next brilliant thing they're doing with beer: low gravity. LOW GRAVITY? like, 2 and 3 percent alcohol. okay, i don't condone drinking for intoxicating purposes. but, why would i want to drink 12 highly caloric beers with next to nothing by way of relaxation?

*finally: my last table tonight was a cute couple younger than myself. i recognized them immediately, as they sat in front of me at vicky christina barcelona. only, i said this to them, as in, "weren't you guys at the sunday matinee..." and i immediately felt totally bananas. they sort of stared cross-eyed at me the rest of the night.

oh, and to the furman girls who left me 11% tonight. i'd totally forgotten about the north face jacket paired with stilettos look. and that you talked about facebook your entire dinner and not ironically was like a slice of hell. thanks for coming out.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

sisterhood of the traveling pant suits sounds familiar...new york times article perhaps?
but then maybe I'm mixing my colbert report with my new york times. how embarrassing if so. i just had to ask.

Mamie said...

are you kidding? clinton's speech the other night. youtube it, cole. it's pretty priceless. when it's not funny, it's actually very dear.

i hope charleston's going well so far. you're wearing rainbows right now aren't you? aren't you? :)

interstellar said...

well i knew it was clinton but i only read about the speech, i didn't get to watch it because my tv is acting up.
i will have to youtube it, i have only seen the clips that were on colbert...(:

actually i am...haha
charleston is going very well actually.
i hope your classes are great this year.

Anonymous said...

low gravity beer....dating republicans...me in high heels. ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

Wow, you know I saw that Vicky Cristina Spanish movie, too. Is there any way you and Hannah could do a play or a youtube vid playing those roles? The connections are blinding me now...

Mamie said...

which one of us is vicky? christina? that's the one thing i couldn't figure out...