well, the hot water heater is broken. and i'm choosing to deal with it by lying on the couch under a blanket and eating many oranges.
earlier today, i did trudge around trying various taps and showers in the hopes that it was all a huge mistake. but it's not. i don't even know where it is, but i'm guessing the basement. which i refuse to go in, because there is someone hiding in it with a machete ready to kill me.
there's nothing else for it: i'm going to have to ring up the landlord who lives far away and has no idea that i'm harboring animals and children, which means i'll have to erase all evidence of said animals and children. then two weeks from now, she'll show up with the fresh stitches of a new facelift to try to fix it herself with duct tape. i just can't bring myself to pick up the phone, because she's the kind of person that writes notes on our front door. on the actual door.
so, tonight? i guess i'll be heating pots of hot water and putting the kids in bathing suits before throwing them both into the jacuzzi tub. jesus christ.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
You're welcome. :=]
Did Eric fix it? If not, it might just be that the pilot light went out - which, I swear - is actually easy to fix. But hopefully Eric fixed it. He's got to be good for something, right?
(kidding eric, kidding.)
Yes, it was the pilot light. Yes, I fixed it. And Aaron went home from school today with a temperature and I brought it back to normal by simply walking in the room. Not kidding.
oh, so glad it's fixed. i hate things that involve life skills. i'm so *very* bad at them.
i was thinking about you all the day long. these kinds of things happen all the time to me -- but only when i can't bear them. our timing, it seems, is always perfect.
i have no ability to heal fevers, either -- well done, eric. are you a shaman?
I'm half Indian, so I got that going for me, but I don't know. I think the only way to truly know is if someone finds my image on a potato chip and then sells it on ebay for a crazy amount money.
yeah. it was the pilot light. but i couldn't get to it b/c of all the ghosts of the people who have been murdered in that basement.
so, yes. thank you eric. altho, i have to say that if dais had been here, she would have fixed it AND arrived with a flower arrangement and a cheese plate.
and sal: they don't make them like us anymore. the kids are constantly doing things at school to acquire "life skills"--it's a reward system. you get life skills, you get to shop in your classroom's store. this explains why you and i are always broke i guess.
Post a Comment