because that is what i am. the crowd warmer. mamie calls & tells me to blog already. i can't, i tell her. i'm waiting on pictures of the naked jeff golblume from planet hollywood.
but, i say, i could totally blog abt you and bo and how it's making me sick.
long pause. yeah, she says. i mean, anything will be better than nothing. (IN OTHER WORDS: you couldn't really HURT the blog by writing something, and if you do, i'll fix it later)
here's the go: bo has resoled her boots, given her flowers, taken her to brunch. she has done nothing. maybe she's made him her zuchini and sour cream dish. today, bo asked for her house keys and instructed her to leave for a few hours.
oh jesus, i interrupt. i don't think i want to hear the rest.
oh, don't worry, it's not so romantic or anything. he just brought over a pressure washer and did my patio, put sealant down, and trimmed the hedges.
yeah, that's not romantic at all. HE ONLY DID EVERYTHING FOR HER, EVERY BIT OF MANUAL LABOR, SO SHE WOULD NEVER HAVE TO LIFT A FINGER.
i have been designated the following tasks in relationships: weeding, hedge-trimming, mowing, raking, painting, trash. occasionally i have been chastised for getting spray paint on the lawn which i had just weeded and raked.
goodnight, chicago!
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5 comments:
did someone say naked jeff goldblum?
i meant romantic in a silly way. that it wasn't romantic in a i'll-go-to-sex-and-the-city-with-you-and-then-maybe-we-can-share-some-fondue sort of way. but, yes, asshole, romantic in the best way.
bring it, abrams. if that's all you got i'm doing pretty well.
don't push me morgan. you're like my mean older cousin who taunted and taunted, until i snapped and kicked him in the groin.
kisses!
also, lauren: am dying to share jeff goldblum. i knew you would love it. and maybe this will divert us from the fight about jack. i love sawyer too, but can't hate jack. he's noble.
I have always had the hots for JG. Share immediately. And dude, no matter what, I can't get on board with the Jack thing. He's a whiny little crybaby with a bad beard.
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