exhibits A and B

exhibit A:

out of all our lipstick lesbian olan mills shots, this one is the best. shot in my childhood best friend anne-elizabeth's new nursery.

let's just say: as kids, anne-elizabeth drove to tryon each morning at 5 am to shovel shit to earn money for a horse. she's been known to spit tobacco. once, i caught her getting out of her F-350 at a gas station in NC...preparing to buy dorals, boiled peanuts, and a jelly doughnut.

which is why the nursery is so funny. pink and beige walls. pink UGG boots. a glass tear drop chandelier. twenty plus smocked dresses and monogrammed booties for a baby that will not be born until august...

most importantly, i learned this at the baby shower: BUMBO!!!!!!
bumbos are baby coozies. not coozies for the bottle. an ACTUAL coozie that you sit your baby in. like a bean bag chair. the little person just sort of conforms to the shape. it even comes in a shade called "lilac."

exhibit B:

my mother's been keeping a very large birthday present for me in my sister's old bedroom at home. which has made me crazy with curiosity. a bike? a chaise lounge?

well, they all came to my place tonight....

it's an ironing board. a very NICE ironing board. and, as my nephew unwrapped my birthday presents as i sipped gruner veltliner, we unraveled something else. they bought me a very NICE michael kors piece of luggage.

only, i told hannah this tonight and discovered...she has the very same one. so, this post is quite cyclical, actually. we will be the cutest matching lipstick lesbian couple on our flight to...

PORTLAND!