The Battlefield Where the Girls Say I Love You



That's just the thing: we will never tell you we love you. In fact, we're here only to hold hands across state lines and yell at the world. We're here to try to touch you across this chasm of flown things. Not even that. At most, I will teach you how to make a gin smoothie when there's nothing left in the house. Hannah can teach you several languages and what to do when your car breaks up with you. Thanks for coming out.

Monday, June 16, 2008

OHGOD OHGOD. FREAKING OUT...

AOL HAS BEEN CHARGING (DRAFTING!!!! FROM!!! MY!!! ACCOUNT!!) ME $25.90 FOR AN UNAUTHORIZED ACCOUNT FOR....

THREE YEARS. THREE. YEARS. $932.40.

The bank account is one that I have in reserve, i.e. not my primary accounts, and so I somehow missed that these amounts were drafting. And they were posting, not as AOL, but as TWX*. And and and, get this: an attempt had been made to hack into that account before that, and so it had fifty different security measures in place. Apparently, not enough.

And now, AOL needs 3-6 months to 'investigate' before they consider refunding those charges. I had to fight to speak with a manager ('he'll just tell you the same thing') and he, in turn, said I should call another department. What's their number? Oh, they don't actually take PHONE CALLS, but they do have a fax number, and their response time is estimated at 4-6 weeks by post.

The account screen name, ironically, is cancel1120.

Unfortunately, I know the truth: which is that even I, a person who is beyond determined and merciless in these situations, will not be able to expedite this process. It took me 45 MINUTES to get a live person on the line.

A few years ago, Sprint double-billed me for 6 months and refused for another year and a half to compensate me for those charges, offering minutes instead. I was routinely hung up on, and once actually thrown out of their store after asking (politely!) for a manager.

I'm ill-suited to this aspect of our modern world. And am afraid I will be bewildered and outraged and spluttering every time it happens. Here's what I predict: in 12-16 months, IF I spend countless frustrated hours taking down names and printing off statements and making phone calls and being put on hold... nothing will happen. So, because in these instances I actually cease being human and become bulldog, I will pursue it for another 2 yrs, and finally get a quarter of it back ('We are prepared to settle for 3 months of charges') and buy myself a bottle of lithium because by then I'll be insane.

4 comments:

wrdcreater said...

My mother had the same thing happen to her. She called them and canceled, but somehow they kept charging her for like two years before she noticed. She fought, and the bank helped her settle it. AOL is a shady ass fraud of a company and should be shut down. Good luck! BTW: GET IT ALL BACK! Don't settle for their shit. It is illegal to access someones account and withdraw funds, actually a federal offense, just like walking into the bank and holding them taking money from your account. Bastards!

eric said...

I spent a total of 2 hours, 11 mins and 32 secs on the phone with the road runner douchebags yesterday evening and I still don't have the interwebs at muh house. AND! I get to leave work today sometime between the times of 8am and 8pm to meet an interwebs expert at my house. But, I guess it could be worse. Like someone stealing $932.40 from me. And I totally remember you getting kicked out of the Sprint office. You're such a badass.

hannah said...

thanks for not pointing out that i have obviously missed being drafted this amt for so long.

unfortunately, i don't balance my checkbook on paper, but just look every day at transactions online... and usually they look right. because i spend a lot. and i look at them and go, "yeah... i probably did spend $25 today on TWX*. guess it was gas." ugh. one day, i will grow up and be meticulous abt these things.

Anonymous said...

Why does this stuff always happen to you? And only you?