we know you don't care: the interview

we are fully aware that you could care less about our opinions regarding politics, our affinity for chaise lounges or day beds (me, the former; her, the latter), obsessions, tastes, regrets, and emotional temperatures. there are entire teams of you, to be sure, who read our blog for precisely the same reasons we read yours: to laugh. at you. and judge.

which is fine. whatever gets you through the night, as it were.

but we've crafted something genius, if only genius to us. we plan to interview each other every day. we each think of one question and ask it. again, fully aware of the ego at hand. fully aware that we already know each other too well. that any more knowledge of the other might drive us off opposing cliffs.*

mine: what is the best cure for a hangover?

hannah: i guess if i know a hangover might be possible, i will drink water before bed, take four aleve. perhaps sleeping aid also to, you know, prolong the sleep. and, that next day: fried food (it will make you feel worse, but that's later), maybe swiss cheese and rosemary triscuits (there's something addictive to the triscuit). and the fetal position. the air conditioning set at fifty. a television marathon of sorts. lost. antm. any maraton will do. finally: make sure your phone is lost under a pillow or behind furniture, so you don't have to listen to mamie's shrill voice yelling for you to go on a run.

mamie: one crystal light on-the-go lemonade mixed with iced water. and a three mile run. preferably listening to: the pixies' "where is my mind?" and justin t-lakes' "sexyback."

hers: what is the most expensive thing you've bought in the last two months? price and description.

mamie: i hate this question. you just want me to look bad.

hannah: no. i want both of us to look bad.

mamie: i hate this question. it's masochistic and stupid, like all my hundreds of mix CD's with no labels. also, OUR APARTMENTS is the obvious answer. but fine. a trina turk paisley tunic. $232. wait! 20% off. so...$186.

hannah: a white casey day bed. $550. whatever. i was going to be funny, but my answer has been chased away by your bitterness and censure.

*in the future, questions are bound to carry emotional and intellectual weight. you know, we're just treading lightly is all.