oh, you're getting on the school bus

last night, i slept the whole night through. finally. as in, i slept until 5:30am. without interruption though, for which i was so grateful that i whimpered with relief this morning.

the first 2 nights, thing 1 came down at 3 am sharp. the first time, i heard her bouncing like a freak down the stairs and so burrowed down into the couch in the den (whatever, it's fine--there will be more beds soon) and held my breath. it's useless. it's worse than being in a thriller. these kids have a radar that beats out every evil movie psychopath. don't even try to hide, it makes the hunt even more viciously focused.

she spots me pretending to be the couch and comes running full speed. i open my mouth to scream No or Get Back, but she's on top of me, bouncing and hugging and gripping and babbling, WHERE DID YOU GO?? I WANT YOU TO SLEEEEEP WITH MEEEEE!" i thought, No. i thought, 3 a.m. No no no.

the next THREE HOURS go like this:

child: wake up.

me: go. away.

child: i love you.

me: %$#&. yeah. love you. leave. go. your. own bed.

child: can i do your hair?

me: mmmppphh.

child, laughing psychotically: i'm bringing the cat to you to say good morning.

reluctant cat is placed on face.

child: i'm going to give you a massage and sing.

so, i lie there, the cat scratches on my face are bleeding. she's hopping up and down on my back and screaming a song in thai about god and children's hearts or something. when i finally get up, my hair is braided and knotted and dreaded and there's a my little pony brush stuck above my ear.