1. the cereal. give it back. there’s no way we ate all that
2. kan’s ‘warm fuzzy’ (pink cotton ball). it was right THERE on the floor
3. aaron’s pencil with the green eraser. also every other pencil he’s owned that has been taken from us
4. one battered copy of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; we weren’t done
5. kan’s water bottle that she took to the park ‘that one time’
6. my bourbon
7. aaron’s penguin sticker
8. my bourbon, and also the ENTIRE CELLAR of wine which has gone missing
9. aaron’s polyester spiderman outfit (**actually, mea culpa. that monstrosity is in the attic)
10. all our socks
11. the seven hours of sleep you keep taking from me nightly. put them back in their rightful place, before 5 am
12. mamie. last spotted running and talking on a cell phone somewhere in sc
13. my fucking bourbon
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10 comments:
I think my fucking bourbon might be hiding with your fucking bourbon. Also, my wine.
mesh laundry bag for the socks...great for the washer and dryer. the gnomes and/or fairies can't seem to figure out the drawstring on that sucker. works like a charm. good luck with mamie and the bourbon. can't help you there.
Most likely, Mamie is running because she stole the bourbon. And the wine. And possibly also the Spiderman outfit from your attic.
Maybe the kids took the bourbon and that's why they can't keep track of their pencils, socks, balls of yarn, etc.
Honestly, you having children might be the best thing to have ever happened to you. Besides meeting me...
Um, it's MY bourbon and it's in your freezer.
i'm not talking abt YOUR-NOW-MY bourbon. i'm talking about MINE. the beautiful, unknown, and lost...
Can't believe you had bourbon the other night and didn't tell me.
as if you needed it.
oh my god why are you commenting and why are we not getting indian food now. MOVE!
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