they were like two dolphins in the immensity of the atlantic--one playful, the other stuck in a tuna net.

i set my alarm for 6:45, which means i got out of bed at 7:53...thinking my class began at 8:30, which it does everyday but friday, when it begins at 8. i don't even have time to wash my face. i've slept in my contacts so my eyes are twitching kind of like the woman's on strangers with candy.

it is all i can do to speak in a way the class may understand about terrance hayes (and for some reason levels of violation women experience in their teens, larry levis, the sox game, my loathing of anne sexton, halloween costumes, the pros and cons of staying at a hampton inn, hannah, and old navy).

later, a student walks into my office, knocks on the wall. i turn around.

"how were people during the byzantine empire buried?" she asks. i'm flattered that she thinks i might know the answer, that anyone i've ever met might know the answer. all i can think, though, is how phonetically pleasing constantinople is, what was that poppy song...

"you think sarcophagi?" she asks, prodding. i'm horrified that she knows this word so early in the morning, that she's using the correct and awkward plural.

i don't answer her. i just turn back to my e-mail. it's too much, you know? and i'm thinking this must be how i'm going to parent, just completely shut off when one of us overloads.

the reason i'm bringing this up is that hannah is driving me crazy. she's doing this thing where she talks like a mom--with all the passive-aggressive charm of a sunday school teacher--and i can't take it. simply cannot. she's using words like "peeved" and even--i can hardly bring myself to say this--"pooped." as in tired. as in maus pooped in the kids' room. this morning, after she browsed at target for an umbrella, she took them to the grocery, said to kan when they get there:

"who wants to be the engine while i steer?" i think she's talking about the cart. aaron's making vroom noises in the background.

okay, so listen. i already know how she's planning to get me back for this post, so i'm going to go ahead with it.
i'm inarticulate. there are many things about which i am not knowledgeable. say, cars. say, film. say, scientology. basic geography...

there's a CHANCE i made reference to the italian/turkish border yesterday, the one that doesn't exist. i was THINKING of the slovenian/italian border. anyway, i just said it wrong. hannah proceeds to tell me that, in fact, turkey is seperated from italy by various other countries.

point is, i was telling a lovely story about a man who had to kill a chicken when he went to visit his ex-girlfriend's family in northern italy. and she didn't care. this, the one man who gives perfectly justifiable gifts after doing nothing wrong (say, a value pac of tic tacs). and she just has to pick pick pick.