a student just left my office. not just any student. the very same one who a) uses lines like, "spinning the harsh threads of language into a sturdy rug," or, "if birds of paradise are mentioned, it is only because they are being grilled and eaten," or "the grays and oranges of simic's palate can't be sorted into a box with colored pencils and stray rubber bands," or "this surprise, like cockroaches, scuttles black against a clean white sheet." (don't worry, i asked her permission to quote from her papers to anyone at any given moment.) the same one who b) spent an entire sunday sketching a possible tattoo for me based on mark doty's poetry triangle.
so she says, "i had this dream you were a blackjack dealer. you had on the red vest, the white collared shirt with the sharp cuffs."
me: uh huh.
her: anyway, i go up to you and i whisper, "you've got the sheet." and you're like, "no i don't," but then you give it to me.
me: what sheet?
her: the sheet that has all the secrets of synthetic division on it.
me: oh.
her: anyway, something's not right about it and i can't get the problem. i'm like, "mamie, the problem won't break." but you just nod and tell me to keep at it.
me: well, that was nice.
her: yeah, but i couldn't get it. (she does some weird hand motion at me.)
me: so?
her: (frustrated) so i didn't win the lottery.
she mumbles some sort of napoleon dynamite-ish "gosh." it has become serious.
me: what do you want from me? i teach poetry.
her: nothing. forget it.
i yell after her to "keep at it." she doesn't laugh. we are in a fight because of some dream that i was a math wizard disguised as a gambling dealer. i miss high school so much.
*oh, and there's this: the new york times today ran a FRONT PAGE article in house & home titled "good design, happy cats?" it's about cat furniture, how it's always been a design nightmare (what with the climbing trees made out of cheap carpet), but how now designers are invoking a frank lloyd wright approach. your home can be a cat's heaven and stylish!!! this problem, says the writer, "has been a dilemma for years." skip to the next page, say, page D7: "Rwandans Weave Baskets of Hope." WHAT? only in f-ing america. page SEVEN. six pages AFTER the AGE OLD DILEMMA of cat furniture!!!! i hate everyone.
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17 comments:
that's freakin rediculous. the newspaper thing- yeah. freakin rediculous. honestly, what has the world, the media, come to?
fuck a cat! shouldn't you be outside running or something. what a gorgeous day.
Maybe it was a sheet of acid she thought you gave her, because she seems like she is tripping. Now if you can only find the fucking burbon, with the acid, and grading papers, it could be a really interesting night.
Interestingly, or perhaps the real word is "predictably," I, too, thought you handed her a sheet of acid.
Sigh... Only on the West Coast.
"Ah, Professor Morgan."
Professor. I'll never get tired of that.
And you're bitching about something in the New York Times about cats and Frank Lloyd Dobbler or something while you could be stopping, smelling various flowers, watching Slingblade. Meanwhile, John Shurholz has just resigned as the Braves GM...and you don't even care.
Actual quote from Slingblade:
"Morris and I wrote a song just the othe night outside the minimart. We called it 'Stuart Drives a comfortable Car.' Then, like in parenthesis, like in country songs, (there's usually someone in the trunk.)"
I said actual. I meant paraphrased. I don't have time to copy and paste from IMDB. Plus-Slingblade=the back of my hand so...
Except it wasn't supposed to say "like in parenthesis" just plain 'ol parenthesis.
If you haven't thought about Viggo Mortensen's pp today, now would be a perfect time.
mac, listen: you and mames might throw 'pp' around all day long at each other (tho god knows, no one should--not even the 5 yr old), but here? really? hurts.
Throwing pp? Like: This?
Throwing pp's around all day? Totally awsome. I don't even think that John Waters can compete. Pink Flamingos? Total ABC Family. Its better than when a snake vomited John Voight in "Annaconda."
mac, it's like you don't comment. then you give us your atlanta braves/terrible movie dissertation. and slingblade??? remember when your parents tried to bully you into liking something? this is exactly like that. i'm never watching it. NEVER!
oh, and t minus 30 hours. totally.
I thought this was "The Battlefield Where the Girls Say I Love You"...not feeling much love, yo. I'm just glad I'm not reccomending homeade apple pie. That would be a tragic thing to miss out on because of silly/stubborn principles.
Actual quote from Slingblade:
I don't reckon you have to go with women to be a good daddy to a boy. You been real square-dealin' with me. The Bible says two men ought not lay together. But I don't reckon the Good Lord would send anybody like you to Hades. That Frank, he lives inside of his own heart. That's an awful big place to live in. You take good care of that boy.
Oh yeah-
When I was five, my mom told me she would buy me the Tron action figure that I was dying to have after I learned to write the alphabet, upper case/lower case. Yeah, Yeah, late bloomer, spare me. So I did, and we went to K-Mart and I was so excited about the Tron action figure-I'm holding it in my hands and my mother says, "You don't really want that."
I think, "I thought I did, maybe I don't."
She then somehow talks me into getting a "Lady in the Tramp" record.
Its not fair for bully's be Jedi's, as well.
"to be" Jedi's. Again, spare me.
Sorry, Jedis. Spare me.
This is rediculous. Bullies. Spare me.
Thanks and goodnight.
Encore. Bullys.
reasons to watch sling blade: dwight yoakam wearing something other than, *if i bend over i may castrate myself* jeans. jim jarmusch in a soda jerk hat. john ritter(r.i.p) "playing" gay. Oh...and i do believe there is not one single shot of billy bob's willy. do it mames.
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