before my mother came to visit a few weeks back, i did all the scrubbing, polishing, and folding
i don't normally do. as we walked up the stairs, i said, "excuse the baseboards. i know the baseboards need some work."
"mame, you overestimate me. i'd never have noticed."
only, when i turn around, she's straightening a lamp shade. then a painting.
we were going to dinner, so i stayed upstairs to change. when i came down, magazines had been fanned on my 4 dollar coffee table: bon apetit, gourmet, budget travel, real simple.
the irony is that i can't find my box labeled "silverware, pots and pans" and am too cheap to go get new cookery...am convinced i'm going to find them somewhere.
i don't normally do. as we walked up the stairs, i said, "excuse the baseboards. i know the baseboards need some work."
"mame, you overestimate me. i'd never have noticed."
only, when i turn around, she's straightening a lamp shade. then a painting.
we were going to dinner, so i stayed upstairs to change. when i came down, magazines had been fanned on my 4 dollar coffee table: bon apetit, gourmet, budget travel, real simple.
the irony is that i can't find my box labeled "silverware, pots and pans" and am too cheap to go get new cookery...am convinced i'm going to find them somewhere.
***
yesterday, i asked what she wanted to do for mother's day. because i am her spawn, this sort of question makes her panic (fear of commitment, fear of commitment).
"mamie, dear, i want to do exactly what i want to do tomorrow. i don't want a timeline. i won't be pressured. if i even hear the word schedule... i want to clean the porch and work in the garden. and i don't want any gifts. absolutely nothing. except a bottle of veuve clicquot and lobsters shipped from maine. and you're welcome to come by."
absolutely nothing. except a bottle of veuve clicquot and lobsters shipped from maine.
there is a scene in when harry met sally when harry says, "there are two types of women. low-maintenance and high maintenance."
"what kind am i?" sally asks.
"you're the worst kind. you're high-maintenance, but you think you're low-maintenance."
***
when i called my sister this morning to wish her a happy mother's day (and also to confirm she'd be home when i delivered the gift-wrapped 6-pack of mich ultra lime cactus) she answered the phone as she always does: slightly annoyed and, apparently, barely clinging to life.
"hello," she says. "what."
"hey. what are you doing?"
"well, i was lying on the couch watching indiana jones. until you called and i had to get up." she sighs.
"you're such a joy," i say. "i don't tell you enough."
"whatever," she says. "are you coming over or not?"
"hello," she says. "what."
"hey. what are you doing?"
"well, i was lying on the couch watching indiana jones. until you called and i had to get up." she sighs.
"you're such a joy," i say. "i don't tell you enough."
"whatever," she says. "are you coming over or not?"
1 comment:
meanwhile, i'm just feeling pretty great abt convincing aaron that we should see iron man instead of speedracer--
yes, the former has more explosions, more language, more villainous people with burnt off faces... but aaron!! a 92% on rotten tomatoes versus 35%!! huh huh??
so i don't care about lobster and veuve clicquot. don't care at all. shuddup. i just have something in my eye!
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