The Battlefield Where the Girls Say I Love You



That's just the thing: we will never tell you we love you. In fact, we're here only to hold hands across state lines and yell at the world. We're here to try to touch you across this chasm of flown things. Not even that. At most, I will teach you how to make a gin smoothie when there's nothing left in the house. Hannah can teach you several languages and what to do when your car breaks up with you. Thanks for coming out.

Monday, September 22, 2008

da beers

about a year ago, as my friend matt o. and i finished our beers at a local irish pub, he took one last look around the room (at the group of girls who had taken off their shoes, were throwing darts various places other than the dart board, and were, mostly, bedecked in very few clothes) and said, sadly, "i don't wanna meet a girl at connolly's. i want to meet a girl at whole foods."

it brought to mind the various inorganic ways in which we go about meeting people. this is not to equate "inorganic" with "ineffective." my cousin met his very cool wife on match.com. i've had many friends of both sexes seek out a partner at church/temple, coffee shops, gallery openings, the gym, concerts, etc. but the thing is, history repeats itself. i know with a level of confidence that if i walked into the blue post in wilmington, smiley's guitar bar in greenville, or starbucks on pleasantburg drive at 8 am, i could predict roughly (i.e. exactly) who i'd run into. i'm a person of routine. the hot contractor who's forever in front of me at starbuck's orders a red eye. richard, the guy who runs beside me at the gym, is a crime reporter who likes to have an amstel light after working out. it's as predictable as those articles in glamour which tell you that men like to return home to a woman wearing only a men's oversized shirt. (why IS that? why are people always saying that?)

so it's rare--at least in my daily life--to actually bump into an interesting stranger. which is just what happened, i swear to god, at whole foods on friday afternoon.

i'd picked up hibiscus sorbet to take for my sister's birthday and was standing in front of the beer cooler, panicked. on the one hand, i'm thankful that whole foods doesn't carry that shitty, lime flavored beer my sister's always requesting. but it's ALL she drinks. so i didn't know, beerwise, where to turn.

"let me know if you need help." daniel, a whole foods rep in funky glasses, said from behind me.

"oh, i'm good," i said, taken off guard. this daniel person was cute in the telling way. as in, i know by looking at him he likes tom waits and also thinks palin should be shot with one of her own rifles.

only, five minutes later i was still standing there, picking up six-packs of beer and putting them back.

daniel: do you want to sit down and taste some beers?

seriously. i tasted everything these stone people out in san diego brew. we talked about the insurgence of low gravity beer, how i hate chocolate stouts, etc.

i will probably never go out with this daniel person, which is absolutely beside the point. he's smokin' hot in the dorky way i require. he helped me shop for molly (thomas creek dockside pilsner). he said he liked my ring. and the meeting, itself, was unplanned, not something i devised or could control. which made me feel a little light in the chest all the way to spartanburg...

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

good god. i wonder if thats the whole foods guy i met at a party in greenville and sent that pic to you? black-rimmed glasses, short brown hair, maybe 5'9"..lives near the bohemian? you know, the one i sort of made out with for the hell of it and totally said this could be your future hubby? of course this was before he started hitting on leslie and i almost had to kick his ass.

wait. maybe he worked at earth fare. i can't remember.

Mamie said...

okay. you just killed my soul that was, for a time, all bambi and lilies and old mercades station wagons.
you really are a frigid, frigid woman.
his name is daniel. was the guy you know named daniel???? it's really that simple. i mean, you know his HEIGHT of all things.
and you MISSED the point. i don't want to know any more about him. i just wanted that moment. so stop ruining everything.
xo

Unknown said...

She sure has a way of killing shit, doesn't she Mames? You could have said you received this random MYSPACE friend request from a friend of a friend of a friend who saw a picture of you and before you could either accept or deny the request Shane(I mean, Michelle) would somehow enter her name on the "Chart".

Three points, Chelle. No worries, you are still in the lead.

xoxo

Anonymous said...

Wait. Wait wait wait wait. What happened? How did you leave it? You say you probably won't go out with him, but is there a chance? Does he have your number? Your email address? Your coordinates according to google maps? I NEED MORE MAMIE!!!!!!

Also: that's so cute that they have Whole Foods down there now.

Sorry. I felt it wouldn't be a daisy comment if I weren't somehow annoying.

Mamie said...

dais, remember when you came to tryon and were like, "bi-lo. BI. LO. what the hell's a bi-lo?"

ha. no digits. i did this awkward thing i tend to do when interested in someone...i ducked out, trying to act charmingly distant. that really tends to get you places...:)

mercedes. i meant mercedes.

hannah said...

i still have the vic card equivalent to all those places. and the dvds i never returned.

it's 330 am. my alarm is set for 5. am banging head against pillow for not thinking to drink heavily before bed.

Anonymous said...

call me
(864) 335-2300

Mamie said...

nice work, eric. like i can't spot the whole foods number from here...