The Battlefield Where the Girls Say I Love You



That's just the thing: we will never tell you we love you. In fact, we're here only to hold hands across state lines and yell at the world. We're here to try to touch you across this chasm of flown things. Not even that. At most, I will teach you how to make a gin smoothie when there's nothing left in the house. Hannah can teach you several languages and what to do when your car breaks up with you. Thanks for coming out.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Things We Lost in the Sad

I could tell that I needed some tweaking of my meds when last week all I wanted was to open up my mouth and emit a self-pitying, high frequency noise that would annoy everyone in our galaxy and the next. So I did the thing any self-respecting depressed person does which was to refrain from solipsistic yelping in favor of entertaining thoughts of Lindsay Lohan’s fashion choices on the couch while bolting appalling amounts of cheese and ignoring the children who were beating each other with a pinata stick.

But the Zoloft has been tweaked and the world is chirping merrily and I’m once again realizing that there is Darfur and a Stupid War and that Mamie has my worst interests at heart. Did you know she called on Saturday? And that when she called she said, Why haven’t we talked in so long, like for almost 24 hrs? And that when I said we haven’t talked because you hung up on me yesterday, she just burst out laughing? Because that’s what happened. Mamie, she’ll hang up on you in a second. Like, God I don’t have time for this and you’re dismissed already so just GO. Today, I hung up on her. But then she called right back and I apologized meakly at which point I’m pretty sure she hung up on me. She always has the upper hand in this marriage.

Anyway. I’ve gone back over the last week and filtered out some of what has survived.

1. Life without health insurance is hell on earth. I know Mamie would rather me speak to the children about how there is no Jesus than talk money, but it’s got to be said. My psychiatry appt would have been $200 for 10 minutes if my psychiatrist were not someone who almost makes me believe in God because this person only charged me $10.

2. Jarvis is a model. It’s true. I was flipping through 008 and there he was. I was choking on my croissant. Jarv, that isn’t… it couldn’t be… seersucker???

3. Aaron said at some point: Hannah, I think a rabbit could dream of a carrot.

4. Have actually consumed four boxes of triscuits in one week. Four. Boxes.

5. There exists a magical place here in town that bills itself as an OVERNIGHT DAYCARE. I skipped about a great deal and wept until a number of people started hemming and hawing and whimpering, Ohh, I don’t know. It might not be good for them. And so I’m like, Fine. FINE.

6. Tom keeps the window up while smoking so that we drive along in a fucking cloud. And when I roll down his window he just rolls it right up again. I think he’s cold, but say: You’re such a girl. Are you worried about your hair or something? A pause happens. Turns out, yes, he is worried about his hair.

7. Which reminds me: Jarvis models.

8. In the middle of the night, Simona saw the ghost of a grinning child in the coat closet. Except it was the scarecrow that I’d hastily shoved in there.

9. Pro-Run is back on this week and I DON'T HAVE CABLE. Is disaster.

10. There were really only 9 thoughts. Soo… here are some pictures of Maus (or as the kids so aptly call her: Maus-less)

16 comments:

Mamie said...

yeah, what a saint: you say, "i can't talk to you when you're like this." or, after a rant: "mamie, those are feelings. how are you feeling?" i? i simply hang up. i don't see how they're any different. i know you're shrink would give me some talk about an open line of communication. overrated. don't care. click.

JaySlacks said...

Ugh. I don't model. That was a one time thing that haunts me like a STD. EXACTLY like an STD.

hannah said...

ok, mamie--you're editing our lives to suit yr purposes at this point. i'm thinking couples therapy. i'm feeling i am not being understood and valued.

jarv: you're the face of fashion. accept it.

Erin Seabolt Bond said...

That cat is possibly the prettiest cat I've ever seen. Shhh. Don't tell my kitties I said that!

Cue said...

Ditto re: the cat. Also, your house. Pretty!!

...Also the high-pitched yelping. That's my day today, only I shut it up with chocolate instead of cheese. Which, the quasi-flu is not liking very much; is threatening to reject it with some bitching about how that wasn't even vegan chocolate. But what can you do.

Mamie said...

please, hannah. please. this is me giving you a look.

Anonymous said...

is this the jimmy buffet shadow box template? i kind of like it. i like a good cheeseburger as well.

Anonymous said...

am eating triscuits (sp? blogger rejects me) and cheese right now. *right* now.

and clementine (mamie's favorite cat) is chasing a q-tip around the house. not as small-adorable as maus, but adorable nonetheless.

and, with the addition of zoloft and bourbon, it does seem like the world might merrily continue.

also: a birthday is coming up soooooon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hannah said...

omg, sal. had i known you were up... well, it would have been a triscuit/cheese partay.

clem has a mustache and so she is the hippest.

and just to preempt: i know, i know. it's hard to see the title. someone might say, This box is not his best. but be ye prepared. i'm feeling birds. and buffet and cheeseburgers.

JaySlacks said...

What the fuck is up with the parrot?

eric said...

Well, I guess you are a daughter of a sailor. What time does this boat leave for margaritaville?

Mamie said...

there's a fucking CORNELL box on our blog and it's all black and tom-ish. what the hell are you doing? now you're like an unhappy wife trying to get attention.

hannah said...

um. and you're like the husband who never says anything flattering abt his wife in front of company. you SAID you LIKED it. oh, and don't think i've forgotten the classist comments!!

Anonymous said...

surprisingly, the template appeals to me. the parrot, it's a little big, but it's cool. not like my two cents are worth anything.

hannah said...

ugh, i know--can't figure out how to shrink it.

but anonymous, you should know that you're the only one that matters to me.

Anonymous said...

more blogs should be be like joseph cornell boxes.