waitressing and ballet fit class: the mystique?

to be fair, when hannah decides she really does love me and wants to continue being my best friend, it's because i've manipulated her. not called for a while. taken up hobbies. achieved greatness through embedding. see, a part of her feels she's meeting someone new. like the transfer guy in eleventh grade who, perhaps, played the drums and exhibited mad devil stick skills.

when i fall back in love with hannah, it's completely by accident. one man's black widow is another's...anne hathaway? anyway, she's not trying is all.

she calls this morning from the uncw parking lot. not the one she's supposed to park in, but the lay person/student lot.

"mame, there's a ticker in this lot. i hope she's canvased this side already."

canvased. as a verb. adorable.

then, then: mame, today in ballet fit class, when the lady asked us to do, like, our tenth squat, i just sort of stuck my butt out.

precious.

secondly:
i've recently begun noticing that there is a certain type of guy that "has a thing for waitresses." i began thinking more about it after daisy's recent post (concerning date who paid more attention to waitress). these men--who range from trainwreck to successful--will also tell you they have a thing for waitresses. which is pervy when all i want to do is get you that last newcastle and send you the hell home.

thing is, i've been thinking too much about it, find it vaguely insulting. like, what does it mean? are we somehow more accessible because (to their knowledge) we don't have other, more lofty careers? does this imply we have lower standards? i mean, i'm not riding some wave of stereotype. listen, i said "verbiage" at a table last week and two people actually clamped their hands to their mouths in delight.

listen:
1. somehow we manage to be both servers and literate.

2. somehow, many of us can serve you and be submissive as all hell. this is not our actual personality. once taken home, we require you relinquish all sexual and cable-related rights. we make you rake leaves. we too require that, at some point, you spend your saturday at ulta/barnes & noble/world market.

3. we are not aspiring actresses. no, we have never done pageants.

4. we too eat in nice restaurants. (never thought to clear this one up until i saw a customer at devereaux's last week who was obviously mortified that i wasn't where--and i quote--i was supposed to be.)

5. we are not 20 years-old. we are not halfway through nursing school. (well, adrianna is. and her sterile technique is amazing. and she has two year-old twins and another job.)

6.we do know how to serve single malt scotch without your nine step instruction. why? because we drink it, assholes. and if you want it on the rocks you can get the hell out of my bar.

cheers. ha. and it's only monday.