Kan's bday, first lines, and other forms of useless

Awful day. I went to some party supply store, walked around with a basket for an hour, freaked, and left. This birthday is becoming the person who hunts you down that you don’t want to see, so you suddenly find yourself darting behind trees or throwing yourself headlong into the nearest closet or hiding in the ladies’ for an hour.

I had invitations made. Xeroxed some painting of Kan's that I dug up, so I wouldn’t have to use her invitations which thankfully weren’t done, because they all depicted the same thing: she, standing in a whirlwind of sparkles, wearing a tiara, with a long, miserable line of smaller-sized girls queuing up to deliver an array of oversized presents.

When I was jotting down info on the inside of the invites, I lost my head completely. Do I have them RSVP? Do I not? Who ARE these people? I’m distracted because I’m talking to Mamie, so I decide to end with my number and the phrase “if confused” in parentheses. Which I clearly just meant for myself.

Later, I call my Mom from the parking lot of the party supply store. Need help! I shout. She says, Just be sure that you SAY that people can’t just leave their kids there. I can’t answer because I’m having a heart attack. Leave their children??? The invites will now include a hand-written addendum: RSVP. And we are not responsible for your brood/offspring/pet humans should they be left unattended.

And now for something completely different. Various beginnings, courtesy of the kids:

“When I was upstairs counting my coins…” (Kan)

“When I was scrubbing and scrubbing the cat’s belly…” (Kan)

“When Kanasta gets old soon she would be a grandma, but still kinda alive you know...” (Aaron)

“Hannah, do you KNOW what I’m thinking about DOING?” (Kan)

“Do you want to watch me count my coins?” (Kan)

“What would happen if the duck swam into the fountain and went spinning high up in the air and then fell down like this see see like this…” (Aaron)

“What would happen if it was midnight, and what would you say?” (Aaron)

“Hello. Hi. Are you sitting there? I cannot play with you. Yes, you’re black with an apple and—what did you say? Oh, okay.” (Aaron in a conversation with my laptop)

And finally: I hate Disney. Goodnight.