The Battlefield Where the Girls Say I Love You



That's just the thing: we will never tell you we love you. In fact, we're here only to hold hands across state lines and yell at the world. We're here to try to touch you across this chasm of flown things. Not even that. At most, I will teach you how to make a gin smoothie when there's nothing left in the house. Hannah can teach you several languages and what to do when your car breaks up with you. Thanks for coming out.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

quarterlife.

i happened to be home tonight and watching television, which occurs bimonthly. only, it was the season premiere of quarterlife, which i'd never have known. only, the biggest loser: couples had just ended and i was only halfway through a tub of coldstone creamery brownie ice cream. so, you know...
anyway, you can just GUESS the demographic. three guys. three girls. mid-twenties. and the aesthetic scale is as follows: really cute, average, total nerd who (clearly) NEVER WENT TO PROM. and i love how the costume people do this. the total nerd girl is gorgeous. so they have her sans makeup and in sweats at all times. average girl--gasp!--is gorgeous. so they put a pair of glasses on her. "hot" girl is blond and bartends/acts. same goes for the guys.
pilot opens with two of the guys trying to land the deal at a prius dealership so that they can make their commercials.
then, BACK AT THE HOUSE:
foose ball table, cases of coronas and....everyone's in love the wrong people! i know. i too was aghast. average girl and hot guy (dum dum dum) don't know if they're ready to move in together. only average guy (who reminds me, inexplicably, of carty...not that anything about bill is average) is in love with average girl.
dorky girl creates a blog called quarterlife. outs everyone. exposes dark, unexpected secrets: hot actress/bartender drinks too much!!! for example.
also, blogger is underappreciated editorial associate at a mag called attitude, where her pretty, rachel-mcadamsish boss steals all good, environmentally sound ideas involving recycled paper.

i'm afronted by all of it. the cliched, cardboard representation of twenty-somethings. but, whatever, i haven't the time to go on. i've got to whoop my boy roommate's ass in darts before we settle in for a game of flip cup. then, we need at least 10 minutes to complain about student loans before taking out our beautiful dog for a walk and jetting off in our 30,000 dollar energy efficient cars.

xo.

2 comments:

Cue said...

omg, I KNOW. I watched this too, watched it all the way to the end even as I was saying things to the TV like come ON! and give me a fucking break.

hannah said...

yeah. this is pretty much the worse thing i've ever seen. but then again, i did just watch every episode of every season of Lost.