The Battlefield Where the Girls Say I Love You



That's just the thing: we will never tell you we love you. In fact, we're here only to hold hands across state lines and yell at the world. We're here to try to touch you across this chasm of flown things. Not even that. At most, I will teach you how to make a gin smoothie when there's nothing left in the house. Hannah can teach you several languages and what to do when your car breaks up with you. Thanks for coming out.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Hannah and Mamie's Last 48 Hours: Check out the timeline!!!

What I want to talk about, suddenly, is my holiday and how it was perfect if we can agree that a perfect holiday is defined as a bleak and lengthy stay on your living room couch while wolves dressed as children break ceiling pipes via paper-towel stuffed toilets on christmas morning and ALL the stores in town do not expect garden herb triscuits until FEBRUARY because, as the stock boy tells the girl in sweats tailed by snarling beasts, we can't get them, there has been a failure somewhere, a break, a line down, and there is without a doubt not a box of them left in this town.

If we can agree that this is indeed a perfect holiday, I'll move on. Grudgingly, and post what Mamie wants me to post. Which is possibly the most riveting series of events you could watch unfold.



Friday 1030pm


Mame came to keep me from bathing with my hair dryer, so we met up with Paul and Sal at Tayste. The server, who took this picture, would deliver items with a 'here you are, gorgeous.' And when he took the photo, at the last moment, he screamed, 'DIAMONDS!!!!!" at us, which possibly explains something. Maybe not why we look like tourists, but something.

Saturday 1245am



Saturday 1246 am



Saturday, 1 am


E-rock shoves off after watching the kids, refusing any part of an extra-large pizza order by saying unforgivably twittish things about eating at 1. At which point, he was no longer thanked for sitting, but chased out with a broom.


Saturday, 11 a.m.


We brunched with the children at the CAM. Everyone loved us. I mean, we look like there's another on the way from Laos or something.




Ehhh,actually, Haaaannah, I had a dream that we met a parrot.



Saturday 9 pm
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She looks like a condom. We're dead sober. The night is falling apart. Tom is looking at his watch.




PARTY. Not captured is Mamie feverishly looking up a not-quite-ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend online because she is convinced that this girl is hotter and more successful. Which of course she knows in her soul can't be possible, but she just needs evidence.

Given this photo, you might not think that when I put Sally on the plane and Mamie in her car that I went home and stared wistfully at Sal's wine glass and Mamie's altoids, also her Capri ultra-slims with a lucky cigarette turned up, but I did.

*What there are no pictures of: Mamie and I weeping in Juno. And more to the point, Mamie and I weeping through the preview of La Misma Luna.

19 comments:

wrdcreater said...

I like the direction your new header is going, but come on, crop both of you into the header. If you need me to work any Photoshop magic I would love to assist.

Mamie said...

wait, what do you mean? we are both in the header. hannah, what's he talking about?

also, hannah, it's like you want carlyle to bolt: not-quite-ex should not be confused, you know, with someone other than my bf that i still might be dating but, rather, a man i never dated-dated who is now with someone who shops at cache and frequents dance clubs. but who is also maddeningly hot and successful.

hannah said...

the only people that find her hot and successful: you. the republican presidential candidates of 2008. the guys in the corner dancing to nelly's 'ride wit me'

hannah said...

also, i crop you out. you don't see it on yr computer but i do.

wrd, it's something with blogger that i can't figure out. but if you would, direct your photoshop magic to my complexion. the freckles, it's absurd, i'm not irish.

Anonymous said...

ok. now i have check this woman out and....i really don't even care. i'll give you my honest gay opinion.

eric said...

1. You forgot to mention that Mamie squealed like a schoolgirl when this Carlyle person called at 1 am, but she was in a inebriated, giggling, staring-off-in-to-the-distance state.

2. I still don't believe he is real. It's so easy to do: would you like to meet my new g/f, Sasha, she's a Russian model.

3. So glad I didn't see Juno with you 2 blubbering fools. I didn't cry nor did I have an inkling to cry, but I am emotionally dead.

4. I think the gym's been paying off. I look thinner in that picture.

JaySlacks said...

Hey! I like Brunch! WTF!

Mamie said...

did not squeal, per se. and, sadly, he was merely returning my call to him.
i'd post a picture, loser, only the only one we have is of him making a weird face (a la dunbar on the real world: sydney) and inexplicably unbuttoning his shirt.
i mean, he'd shoot me.

Anonymous said...

the only house you'll see this year is the big house.

hannah said...

tell me about it, sister.

Anonymous said...

For fuck's sake, don't send'em my way.

Mamie said...

wait, aquafina (which even i wouldn't misspell) hasn't been on any water guest list since '04. i don't care if morgan freeman does do the voice over on those commercials.

cool as gwyneth paltrow. seriously.

Anonymous said...

i just did this survey on flavored water, like, just the other day! lollololololololololololololol.

Anonymous said...

you ladies are fabulous.

how was taste in terms of food, not service??

Anonymous said...

omg, tom--we JUST got it. AQUAFINA. FRYING PAN. mamie ran out of her waiting shift to call.

she spotted a water bottle in the kitchen, a pan. it clicked.

wrdcreater said...

I think that the header looks great, both of you look awesome, and would not change a thing.

As for The Freckles, they are not that prominent but if you want, send the picture to me so I can remove your adorable freckles. BTW-What is wrong with being Irish?

hannah said...

hey, i love ireland. would love to live there, in a stone cottage with sheep and a carpenter for a husband who also wrote sonnets and played the penny whistle. if you know someone...


re. the food at tayste (lamest spelling ever) is good, but overpriced. mame and i both had salads that were exquisite (and the oysters were prefect). brie flash fried in an almond crust with several 'jams' that was decent. but i ordered bread pudding for dessert, and it was a total fucking trainwreck: the top part of what appeared to be a stale raisin bran muffin from pcj, was deep-fried, with no sauce but instead a cinnabonish glaze that was really alarming.

made up for it the next night with the bread pudding from phoenix--chocolate chip and toasted almond, and the cream was lovely.

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